Mel Arroyo

My series, Battling Identity conveys my emotional struggle of growing up as an Americanized Puerto Rican and how that influenced my battle with depression. Growing up as a non-spanish speaking Puerto Rican, I never quite felt accepted into my native or the American culture. This lack of acceptance quickly created self-hate and doubt. In both Hispanic and American culture, it was considered taboo to speak openly about mental health, so I used my art as a non-verbal outlet to demonstrate my struggles with depression and my hispanic identity. By incorporating color schemes that are reminiscent of my beautiful and vibrant hispanic culture, with the intense polarizing markings of paint against black, I want to illustrate my difficult journey of acceptance of self and facilitate open dialogue for others who may be facing that familiar battle.

Biography

Growing up in Spanish Harlem, I was constantly surrounded by diversity. I was blessed to see a wide variety of ethnic cultures, including my own and ever since I was young I was very proud to be Puerto Rican. However, once I went to elementary school I was confronted with degrading comments on a daily basis which changed my perception of identity for a long time. I was either “too pale” to be Hispanic or “not Hispanic enough” because I didn’t fluently speak my native language. I truly did not know what my identity was anymore which caused me to isolate myself. I then started creating art as an outlet for my inner struggles and battles with depression and identity. This became a spiritual experience for me and allowed me to speak my truth through illustrations. In 2009, I was fortunate enough to get accepted into a very prestigious university, however I was yet again confronted with my identity as an American and as a Hispanic woman. For the first time in my life, I was surrounded by fellow classmates that were completely different from me, yet I was still facing the same obstacles as I experienced in my hometown growing up. Although I have always been proud of my heritage I never felt Spanish or even American enough to fit in anywhere. I truly felt like an outsider and as a result it took a toll on my mental health. As a result, after I graduated college, my passion for art was depleted and I no longer had an outlet to illustrate my struggles. But after covid, I was forced to confront my issues head-on. Finally, after eight years, I started creating art again which transformed my identity loss into an acceptance of self and love for my cultural roots. It became very important for me to use my art to create a very important dialogue about identity loss and how it affects depression.